This was a speech I wrote in my freshman year of college, I figured I would share it with everyone on this wise woman's birthday.Maria Del Refugio Vazquez a woman of many words and life long lessons. My grandmother who I called Tati, was an altruistic and sage woman. She not only had a backbone for herself but for every member of the family. What she said went. If she said don’t, you didn’t. If you disobeyed, there would be ramification. My Tati was the wise woman and we went to her for guidance, help, words of wisdom and food. My grandmother taught me many things, but one lesson that she taught me and also reminded me everyday, never let anyone get me down, stand up for myself no matter what and to have strength. Never let anyone tell you that you cant, never let peoples negative opinion get you down, no matter what you fight what you believe in and to never feel ambivalent towards my dreams. Her lesson that she told me everyday never give up on yourself. Since I could remember my grandmother always said “no te dejes” don’t let yourself. Don’t look for a fight but if it finds you don’t ever let someone get the best of you. No te dejes, my grandmother did not teach me to be hard headed or closed minded, she taught me to be strong because life wouldn’t slow down, you just had to keep up. And no matter what she would always be proud of me if I was proud of myself but then, she would say even if you weren’t proud of yourself, I would still be proud. My Tati believed and taught me that, being strong is a way of life. These lessons from my grandmother have helped me in everyday situations. Believing in myself is the greatest lesson my grandmother taught me. Being strong is now a way of life and no matter the situation I try my best and never give up on myself. Find strength in yourself so you can give your all to the best of your ability. My grandmother has taught me lessons that I will always keep close and dear to my heart. My grandmother has made the most influence in my life in the best possible way. She has taught me strength, never to give up on myself, and her love will forever be eternal. The wise woman always knew what to say in difficult situations. My grandmother knew how to keep the family together with the magic of food. She was the rock in the center and everyday she taught us how to be our own rock. In the summer of 2010 my grandmother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. After a year of chemo she beat cancer, almost a year after the cancer came back. She fought again, harder than before and even with cancer, she cooked and cleaned for her family everyday. Throughout this extremely hard time her lessons of strength were always in my head. On November 25, 2012 my grandmother lost her battle with cancer. Her lessons are what keep me going, my motivation to do better and to be better because even til the very end my grandmother never stopped fighting.
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A tomato and mayo sandwich, forget the bologna, my Ma always told me about how my Abuela would make these sandwiches for her when she was younger (her and her 4 sisters and 6 brothers). She always told me that growing up she never even thought that she was "poor," there was always food on the table, a roof over their head and clothes on their backs. So they didn't have any bologna, a tomato and mayo sandwich did the job. Listening to her stories about growing up and how she would go with my grandmother to clean houses when she was little, makes me admire her even more. She tells these stories with such detail and enthusiasm, I think she gets these story telling skills from my Abuelo. How fortunate I am to sit in my kitchen, while sipping on some Peat's coffee and hear these stories of hard work, respect and tomato sandwiches. There is never a sign of regret or complaints, just of appreciation of her hardworking parents. When I was little, I remember a time where we had ran out of ham and my Ma improvised with tomato, this was the first time I heard the story of the hearty sandwich. Let me just say the sandwich was amazing. Hard working immigrants from Mexico, worked even harder when they arrived to the United States. Diligent workers now U.S. citizens motivate me and inspire me to be committed to my work. I know no matter how hard I try it won't equal what they have accomplished. My grandparents, 11 kids, 30 grandchildren and four great grandkids later, have paved the way so that when my mother tells these stories of tomato sandwiches, it reminds me how far they've come. My Abuelo will be 79 next Friday, and now it's our turn to spoil him. Thanks, Abuela y Abuelo, for all the hearty meals you provided my mother, she did right by both of you. I take a lot from my family, my parents lessons, their stories and I try my best to carry them with me whenever I make my decisions. As a writer you have an inspiration, you have something that drives you, and I can happily say that it is my family. The diversity of ideas and faces that my family, inspires me to write with an open mind. The hard working hands of my family, remind me to always go by truth and help those less fortunate than myself. For all the hearty meals to come served with a side of a great story, Im ready and blessed. I never gave much thought to my prince charming growing up, I just always imagined he would be Mexican. Truthfully the only reason why I just assumed he would be Mexican because I didn't think I was "allowed" to date anyone else. Fast forward through my years, prince charming faded away and was not on my priorities list anymore. At the start of college, Cal State Northridge (go matadors) I was so fascinated and in love with the new freedom I had (Spent most of it in class and then on the bus). I had new friends and old friends I could be with in between classes, we would share our experiences of the day over a Freudian Sip coffee and bagel. Sophomore year, Fall Semester, I decided to attend a college event with some friends. When I arrived with my friend we immediately started thinking of things we would rather be doing than going to this event (Denny's). As my friend (Doug) and I start to roam around, I get hit in the face, figuratively, with the imagine of prince charming. There's a part in a novela where her true love storms into La Casa de la Senora, double doors open wide and he is there proclaiming his love to Sonia, I had that moment. My moment was very different since my brain was computing this imagine of FERNANDO storming into save me, I looked back to real life and it wasn't FERNANDO, it was Rafael. (WHICH BY THE WAY HE IS 10x better). I then go on to think why I was complaining this whole time, and got distracted by a very deep conversation with Rafael, it was about popcorn. The day Rafael asks me on a date, instead of being excited, my heart sinks to my stomach. I come from a very traditional Mexican household, and until that moment didnt realize what that meant. I would have to ask mis padres, for permission to go out on a date, but the thing I was most scared to tell them was, HE WASNT FERNANDO, he wasn't Mexican. Now this is just me jumping to conclusions but it was really what I was most scared about. I came to figure out Rafael had a lot more freedom than I did, and he figured out even quicker that I had let's just say less (a lot less) freedom. Since day 1, Rafael has understood my culture and my parent's wishes. He has got used to the check ins, the reasonable hours to get home, and my bursts of hot head angry Latina moments. An Interracial relationship was new for both my parents and I. I don't think they imagined me coming home with a Filipino or anyone actually, but I embraced it with an open heart and my parents with an open mind. After 3 years together, I have come to understand the similarities, and difference our cultures have. We are both very proud of where we come from and that never has to change. For a while I thought I had to date someone like me because that is what my family wanted but I was wrong. Interracial relationships are extremely beautiful, it allows others to get a better understanding of another culture and for me, it gave me a different perspective of how I see the world. Nothing is just black and white anymore, and I have come to appreciate the multitude of colors. 51 years ago, in the state of Virginia two people, Mildred and Richard Loving, took a stand to the injustices and protested Virginia law that prohibited interracial marriages. They were wed in Washington D.C. and after returning to Virginia they were arrested for violating the Racial Integrity Act in Virginia, and were charged with unlawful cohabitation. The Lovings fought for something that they knew was rightfully their's, love for one another no matter the color of their skin. Thank you for loving. This wasn't just a story about how a Filipino remixed my novela but a point to say love is love and its okay. Now, I can no longer say anything negative to Rafael in Spanish, since he understands most of the "angry words," and I have come to the conclusion that pancit, lumpia and turon are probably my favorite Filipino dishes. The best part is I can tell him "I love you" in three different languages: Te amo, kaluguran daka, i love you. |
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January 2018
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